Walking through fire

Quick update from me. Tomorrow (Monday) I should go into Winchester hospital to have some fluid drained from my abdomen. This may take some time and may not be successful - the fluid is distributed in pockets so they have to be careful to get the right areas. They could end up leaving the drain in for up to 24 hours. The plan is to go to the Hospice in Andover afterwards but when I last spoke to them, there was no guarantee of a bed - but I'm sure there will be somewhere. If not, I'll come home! In the meantime, here is the promised blog about my views on death. This is definitely an optional blog to read. I know some of my friends will be interested to know what I think - but for others it just won't be the right time or place. That's fine. As death has been on the horizon for me for the past 21 months - and in the last few weeks that horizon has moved considerably closer, then it's not surprising that I have tried to clarify my thoughts and (being me) that makes

View from our balcony So we had an amazing holiday - cruising with the family up and back down the Adriatic. Ten days of sun, sea, amazing landscapes, beautiful cities, swimming, eating ice creams and time together.  Here are some photos just to give you a flavour... In Venice From the walls of Dubrovnik Coming in to Kotor, Montenegro And finally chilling in Roda, Corfu But now I've come back down to earth with a bit of a bump. Literally. I feel (and look) about 5 months pregnant. My abdomen had started gradually to swell since about April or May, it shrank a bit with the last lot of chemo but has been growing ever since. Originally they thought it was mostly fluid, and I think that's what I was banking on. In my head, I was hoping that the fluid could be drained, I could have some chemo and be back on track. Maybe I knew that this wouldn't be possible, maybe not, but somehow last week we managed to fit in an afternoon tea out at a swanky hotel, and a lightening trip up t